But Who'll Sarah Fee?

It occurred to me yesterday that my favorite thing to do - read a book while I'm eating - is just a combination of reading and eating. Bo-ring. I'm boring.

Night of Wolves (The Paladins, #1) - David Dalglish Yay, free Kindle ebook!

Short little storyette that Dalglish doesn't completely master because of the occasional modern word that whooshes you right out of the story and back onto your couch. Will look for later Dalglish novels!
Legion - Brandon Sanderson Awww, Brandon's gotten better at writing dialogue. I'm so proud!

Unfortunately, though, the "revelation" at the end was no revelation at all. :( I suppose I can forgive this weirdly pointless storyline because of the fun characters, but I'm not giving this one a high rating. Maybe only three stars.
Dark Inside - Jeyn Roberts Largely unimpressive.

Maybe I'm just stupid, but the names Mason and Michael are too similar to each other for ease of reading. Good characters, but the lack of a satisfying ending makes me wonder where the storyline actually was. Took too long to get things moving, too.
A Dark Matter - Peter Straub Ever since I started buying ebooks online, I've been forgetting to actually look inside the physical book I'm buying from the physical bookstore before I get home. Stupid mistake.

My tipping point was when the main character said that he was an author and therefore notices the words people use and doesn't like it when they're not eloquent! Shut up, [real] author!* Why isn't your writing nice and elegant?

____
* meta!
أبو شلاخ البرمائي - Ghazi Abdul Rahman Algosaibi, غازي عبد الرحمن القصيبي Political. Satirical. Insane.

- at first. Then it gets boring.
The Viscount and the Witch - Michael J. Sullivan Advertising this as a short story is just retarded. The "story" starts at 19% and ends at 57%. It has a beginning, but no middle or end. It's always satisfying to see Hadrian and Royce, but please. This is half a prologue.
Avempartha (The Riyria Revelations, #2) - Michael J. Sullivan I really wish I could give this book more stars, but uurrrggghhfffgulk5 the writing is awful. Two parts lame sounding conversations and three parts explaining everything to death, sometimes it really insults your intelligence.

BUT there was at least one part that had my inner fangirl squealing, and even though I could see everything coming a mile away, the ending surprised me! But, well... it was in my face the whole time. *squee!*
The Crown Conspiracy - Michael J. Sullivan How can I review an entertaining little story with really terribly transparent writing?

I LOVED THIS BOOK. I wish I could give it a higher number, but it would feel like cheating. Where subtle hints would do just fine -wonderfully, actually- the author feels the need to explain, explain, explain -- /after/ you already understood from the hint. It gets annoying. There's also the way the characters' speech never feels real, but that can be overlooked for the sheer funness* of it all. If you don't mind Fantasy for Dummies, come on in! The water's a bit too warm but still almost great.


* although I can't shake the feeling that I only like this series because I'm a girl.
Mirror Mirror - Gregory Maguire Hellloo, Cersei!
The Outstretched Shadow: The Obsidian Trilogy: Book One - Mercedes Lackey, James Mallory Two authors and neither of them know English? Maybe I accidentally got my hands on a first draft. (My favorite example of Where Is The Editor is Kellen "mutinously" doing exactly what he's told.)
Furies of Calderon - Jim Butcher Classier than Xanth, but the same stupid idea. That was a chapter and a half I wish I hadn't seen.
The Cross-Time Engineer - Leo A. Frankowski I bet the author was a short, unattractive geek. And possibly a pedophile. I bet you half my house.

The protagonist, an engineer who finds himself in the past, is tall and perfect and the (mostly 14 year old) ladies are throwing themselves at him. Like David Brin's The Practice Effect, our hero finds himself in a relatively uncivilized place where he can show his technology to the natives. Unlike The Practice Effect, The Cross-Time Engineer reads like a fat boy's dream diary. This book wasn't about the plot, it was about the other characters loving and being in awe of the protagonist.

That being said, it was fun. If you hate Mary Sue and the 'women are objects' point of view, stay far away. I'm going to classify this one as a guilty pleasure and vehemently deny ever giving it more than one star if you ask me about it to my face.
Time Scout - Robert Lynn Asprin, Linda Evans Ugh. The story seemed interesting, and I tried to get at least halfway through, but the stupid girl acts /way/ too childish. When you expect some progress in the storyline, all you get is her annoying attitude. I’m glad I don’t have a physical copy because I’m totally anti-book burning but this one is really asking for it.
Full Circle (Castings Trilogy, Book 3) - Pamela Freeman Disappointing.
Stardust - Neil Gaiman It has all the elements of a good book, I guess. But it's only average.
Perfect Shadow - Brent Weeks Ridiculously annoying teenage boy's fantasy, and no sign of Momma K's sister anywhere. Huge disappointment.

Currently reading

The Last Stormlord
Glenda Larke
The Stories: Five Years of Original Fiction on Tor.com
Gregory Benford, Beth Bernobich, Jedediah Berry, Michael Bishop, Terry Bisson, Alex Bledsoe, Jennifer Bosworth, Damien Broderick, Jessica Brody, Steven Brust, Daniel Abraham, Cecil Castellucci, Adam Troy Castro, John Chu, Cathy Clamp, Jacob Clifton, Deborah Coates, Paul C
Dune (Dune Chronicles, #1)
Frank Herbert