I hate you, George RR Martin. You are an evil, sadistic little man, aren't you?
First I had to go through Feast for Crows without my favorite characters. I actually thought they were going to be right around the corner up until the last page when - surprise! I find out they were moved to the next book. Okay. "No problem," I said. "I'll wait, Georgey Porgey. But it better be good."
But it wasn't. Oh, how it wasn't. (He made this girl cry.)
There seems to be a huge misconception that this is actually reading material, judging by how the average rating isn't 1 star.
How does someone start a series so magnificently and then deteriorate so magnificently quickly?
The problem here is that NOT ENOUGH HAPPENS. Phrases are repeated until you want to smash your book or reading device with a hammer. Tyrion keeps "taking a piss."
SPOILER ALERT? DOES IT MATTER? Tyrion spends the entire book just /traveling/ to where Daenerys is. At first you think, cool! Daenerys gets to meet Tyrion! But then you just forget that that was ever his destination. And Cersei? I think she got her comeuppance in this book, but really all I remember is where do whores go? You know nothing, Jon Snow.
I'mma take a piss off the boat now.